Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

It’s still here.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

Anker Recalls PowerCore 10000 Power Banks for Burning or Exploding. Learn How to Get a Free Replacement - CNET

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

Be who you already are.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

When a black man and a white woman have a child, does the child become white? If a white man and a black woman have a child, does the child become black?

It’s here now, writing to you.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

Climate Disasters Hit the Brain Before Babies Are Even Born, Study Suggests - Gizmodo

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

John Tavares signs four-year contract extension with Toronto Maple Leafs at significant discount - RMNB

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

I was tired of fighting.

Is there any kind of mold that might be good for your skin?

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

How did President Biden address the housing crisis when he entered office, and what were the outcomes of his actions?

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

I was tired of trying and failing.

What is your opinion? I am 150-152 and I feel short. I’m 15 years old. I feel like this makes me look like a baby and ugly on most clothes.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

You are like me, then.

I had run out of hope.

Mapping XRP’s road to $2.35 – Bulls, watch THESE levels next - AMBCrypto

And the sadness?

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

The sadness was still there.

Gov. Abbott activates state emergency resources ahead of anticipated severe weather - Click2Houston

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.